Bastards

I wish people would just say what they mean, I find out every day new stuff about things and hwat people realy ment insted of what they said. And it always end up the same way, it hurts me. Couse either they realy didnt like me while they were nice ore they ment no when they said yes. And it goes on fore ever, I ask if they wanna do something and they said yes and we did it and I thought it was fun. Then after I hear from a freind of a freind that they hatet it and thought I were a freak. I guess I must be a freak since everybody ceep caling me one. Sigh, it makes me think about becoming a hermit. I hate fucking lying people, say what you mean god damn it. Every time it gets me down and I get depressed and wanna cry. But I can't couse then my parents get overly protective and starts worrying about my suicidal side again. It's gone for ever but it I question my reason for living every time and ask if anybody would realy miss me. The answer I get in my head is always no and then the depresion is back. Therfore I say you lying bastards.